The Post(s) I Couldn’t Write

For quite some time I have wanted to write a post (or series of posts) about adoption. My wife and I adopted two brothers from Korea 33 years ago. And yet, every time I began to write, I stopped… or was stopped. I’m not sure why.

I even had a title picked out: Adoption— A Love Story. I was going to start with our own experience and then move to the greater story of adoption, namely God’s adoption of us as sinners.

Galatians 4:4-6

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!”

This central truth of God’s saving work is one of wonder, beauty, love, and devotion—God’s devotion to us. What a grand statement, and truth to cling to. We may wander, but we don’t stop being God’s children because of that. This is a passage of comfort, strength, and peace.

And yet, I couldn’t write about our own adoption. I am still working through why. I know that even now my emotions run high (in both directions)… There are joys and fond remembrances and current good things; but also failures, hurts, pains that run deep, abandonment in times of need, loneliness, guilt, fear, shame. Please note: I love our boys (well, grown men, with our five grandchildren!), and while tested, my love for them never broke. So it isn’t that I am heartless.

I do know that when someone relates their “wonderful experiences” of adoption, I want to be the wall flower in the room (“Please, don’t let anyone ask me!”)—yes, I rejoice with them, but I can’t fully relate to that. Over the years I have begun to realize that our experience of adoption is much like the rest of life, sometimes great, sometimes terrible, sometimes, a day-to-day struggle.

Perhaps someday

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About exegete77

disciple of Jesus Christ, husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather, teacher, and theologian
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3 Responses to The Post(s) I Couldn’t Write

  1. John Maynard says:

    I think to often pastors try to hide their personal disappointments and weaknesses. Maybe they want to put up a “false front.” But pastors have hurts, sins, and weaknesses just like anyone else. I thank you for the courage to discuss these things and give thanks to your Savior for making you strong even though you are weak.
    Martin Luther once said, “If you call yourself a Christian, you aren’t.” What he meant was that we will never obtain Christian perfectness in this life, we are always growing in our faith. Bless you on your journey of faith.

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  2. Emily Cook says:

    “If you call yourself a Christian, you aren’t.”
    ha, I like that.

    Rich, the trial and blessing of love is one I can relate to. May God bless your writing and reflecting.

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    • exegete77 says:

      Thanks, Emily. Yes, as I have gotten to know you, it appears that we have some common ground in the “trial and blessing” area. (I will write more in my email to you)

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